Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Awkward is my middle name
All sorts of social interactions make me nervous. I know without a doubt that when social graces were being handed out, I was either busy tripping over my shoelaces or standing the corner engrossed in a mental debate over the best way to ask someone if I could borrow their pencil. I love people. All sorts of people. I find the diversity of experience and personality fascinating. I just don't really know how to interact with anyone over the age of 10. The more I try to play it cool the worse it gets.
"Eye-contact. Make eye-contact. Wait! How much is too much? Is this good eye-contact, or I'm a creepy stare into your eyes person eye-contact. Nod, nod, I agree. Oh crap, I think I must look like a stupid bobble-head doll." etcerta, etcetra.
Or the best "Oh crap, did that just come out of my mouth?" moments.
Over the years, I've learned to laugh at myself for my social awkwardness and at least partially accept that I will never ever, on this planet, be the life of the party (or meeting, or lunchtime or play date or..)
I've also learned to accept that I tend to get off topic easily. Like now. The point is that we need 5 references for our adoption application. Two family and 3 non-family. 5 people or couples who will be willing to state that we are neither nut-jobs or child abusers. This sounds easy right? Cue the social awkwardness, please. The family choices were easy. Since my mom is a bit of nut-job, although a very lovely one, and we see my other siblings 2-3 times a year tops, my side of the family was out. Thankfully, Brad's parents and sister readily agreed to vouch for our child-rearing deservedness.
Now for the non-family references it was pretty easy to decide who would be the best the use: our pastor and his wife, our closest couple friends (also only couple friends who are still married), and my business partner. Easy....except I have yet to ask a single one. It's kinda the only thing holding us up right now. I mean, I think we're great(ish) parents, but I think some small part of me is worried that they won't. How awkward would that be?
"Actually, I don't think you should adopt because you're screwing up enough kids already." Huh, yeah, that would suck.
And then, is there a social convention for this sort of thing? Can I ask my friend through Facebook? Because this time of year, with 5 plague infested kids between us, I might not see her for months. The hamster on the wheel in my brain goes round, and round, and round and lands on "put on your big girl panties and do it already." Which is what I'll just have to do, bobble-headed, staring eyed and all.
"Eye-contact. Make eye-contact. Wait! How much is too much? Is this good eye-contact, or I'm a creepy stare into your eyes person eye-contact. Nod, nod, I agree. Oh crap, I think I must look like a stupid bobble-head doll." etcerta, etcetra.
Or the best "Oh crap, did that just come out of my mouth?" moments.
Over the years, I've learned to laugh at myself for my social awkwardness and at least partially accept that I will never ever, on this planet, be the life of the party (or meeting, or lunchtime or play date or..)
I've also learned to accept that I tend to get off topic easily. Like now. The point is that we need 5 references for our adoption application. Two family and 3 non-family. 5 people or couples who will be willing to state that we are neither nut-jobs or child abusers. This sounds easy right? Cue the social awkwardness, please. The family choices were easy. Since my mom is a bit of nut-job, although a very lovely one, and we see my other siblings 2-3 times a year tops, my side of the family was out. Thankfully, Brad's parents and sister readily agreed to vouch for our child-rearing deservedness.
Now for the non-family references it was pretty easy to decide who would be the best the use: our pastor and his wife, our closest couple friends (also only couple friends who are still married), and my business partner. Easy....except I have yet to ask a single one. It's kinda the only thing holding us up right now. I mean, I think we're great(ish) parents, but I think some small part of me is worried that they won't. How awkward would that be?
"Actually, I don't think you should adopt because you're screwing up enough kids already." Huh, yeah, that would suck.
And then, is there a social convention for this sort of thing? Can I ask my friend through Facebook? Because this time of year, with 5 plague infested kids between us, I might not see her for months. The hamster on the wheel in my brain goes round, and round, and round and lands on "put on your big girl panties and do it already." Which is what I'll just have to do, bobble-headed, staring eyed and all.
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