Happy Email

Checking my phone during Bible study on Thursday (I know, bad) I found this in my inbox.

"Hi Brad & Casey,


I need to apologize as I realized I never sent another email following up after I finished reviewing your dossier. I am pleased to let you know that you are now accepted into our program and being placed on the wait list (you got on the wait list on August 31, 2012 when your dossier arrived). As soon as your file is able to be placed on our active list (average wait 3-4 months from the time your documents arrived) I will be sure to let you know.

Thanks, and we look forward to working with you! Please let me know if you have any questions"

Immediately my mind starts racing...

We will be active by the new year!

We could have our baby in our arm by this time next year!

This might actually happen.

Holy smokes!!!!

Things I've learned this week:

1. Trail bloggers are dirty rotten liars. They say the route is "easy" and only "5 hours round trip" so that you will think they are "awesome!". They are not.

2. If you dig long enough you can find an accurate discription of the route...ohh more like 10 hours round trip over rough terrain. This will only happen once you are home.

3. You can push your children much harder than you would have thought when there is no other choice.

4. My kids are awesome! (unlike the dirty liars mentioned above)

5. If you say "hey, we are almost there" enough times you will lose all credibilty with your children.

6. Seeing your 3 year old 6 hours into the hike will get you incredulous looks from every one you meet.

7. You can buy them packs and load them up but this just means that you will be carrying 3 packs simaltanously. (awkward)

8. Being stuck in a 2 man tent with an exhausted, overwrought 3 year old is what horror movies are made of.

9. My kids rock!

10. Just when you think you've ruined your kids and they are going to hate hiking forever. They say that they would do it again. But only if Daddy comes to carry the gear and Mommy isn't allowed to pick the route. lol

11. In spite of 1 - 10, it was a great trip!

 

Retroactive

I just got an email that our dossier has been received and is ready to be reviewed.

I'm grateful that our agency was willing to pull up their socks and admit that they had caused just too many delays in our adoption process. A little over 2 years from starting to dossier submission is just plain SLOW!

So they worked out with our US agency to accept our paperwork as is and the BC agency will add the updated paperwork as they complete it.

I am so relieved to be beginning the wait.

It's all God's timing anyway right?

Right?

(small sigh)

Hamster in the Wheel

                I had hoped to post the photo of the kids holding up our completed dossier, ready to send two weeks ago. I cannot explain the relief that accompanied having all that paper work finished. Compiling a dossier is brutal on a procrastinator like myself. Lots of annoying finicky stuff and no actual deadline = not a good situation.

                So imagine my frustration when a week after sending it I find out that all of our references have to be redone.

Q-Why couldn't this have happened 2 months ago when we learned we would have to have our home study updated??

A-  I'd like to know too but I'm not sure yet that I can phone the agency and be nice about it.

           I just keep picturing a hamster in it's cage running for all it's worth in the spinner. Working hard and going nowhere. And spending hords of money along the way.

                   I'm very concerned that by the time the references are updated our medicals will have expired as well. Last time it took 3 months to get our HIV test results (thankfully we were very sure of the outcome).
Please pray that we finally get off this wheel and onto the road to our baby!.

My son

My son

 My boy

This child we prayed for two years to conceive. Our hearts groaning to the Father in supplication

"Please"

"Please"

Who's birth story includes words like "catastrophic", "induced coma".....and "miracle"

....also, hysterectomy, loss, grief.

Matthew. The name means Gift From God

And you are.

You are!

Even when I'm so lost to the chaos that I can't see it

You accept nothing without a fight, from the moment your eyes open in the morning

Till the moment, with tears in both of our eyes, that you finally succumb to sleep at night.

You sass-back

You spit in my face when I correct you

You scream endlessly and break almost everything you touch

And then you go looking in cupboards for more..

You pull my hair and tell me no

No

No

No

And I don't always choose grace.

I don't always (often) find the strength to be patient, to speak love.

I scream

I say hurtful things

And I cry

Becausee you deserve for me to be better, to be more.

And when I'm feeling like we are drowning in my inadequacy

Overcome by your spirit

I see your little hands fold in prayer

And a small voice asks "Where did he learn?"

........

I am not enough to temper the storms of your  heart my son.

But HE is

And when I focus on the behavior,

when I let the raised eyebrows get to me, when I let myself think of all the

things you shouldn't be.

I forget

I forget that you are not mine.

You are HIS

And my job, my privilege is to pour myself out

Everyday

To bring your heart to HIS

So He can do a great work.

................

Later, I lay in bed with you and breathe in the scent of your hair

Still a baby smell despite your strong, lean limbs

Murmur comforting words as you writhe and whimper in pain.

Your body growing so fast that it stretches and strains, pulls bone and tissue

I adjust the hot pad and wish that I could take the pain away from you

But that is not the way of the world

We hurt

And growth is painful

and often not pretty

As your breathing evens out I pray for more grace, more strength.

And I'm grateful

For you

My son.

Today's Food for Thought

“What if God’s will for our life is found wherever someone’s need and our ability intersect?”

D.O.N.E.

Dear Lord, I've been told all my life that you never give a person more than they can handle. I'd like to humbly suggest that you might have me confused with someone else. :0)

To The Fair We Go



The churches in area get together every Spring to put on a MCC Fair at the local community hall.

We eat treats, fill up on traditional Mennonite cooking (including the most amazing cottage cheese perogies ever!), play games and support a great cause. All the money raised goes to Mennonite Central Committee to support disaster relief and projects for the needy. In real "loaves and fishes" fashion our little fair raises between $15-$20,000 every year.

Matthew was so amazed by the fishing game :O)

We wouldn't miss it.

Happiness is.....

Getting your first real gun on your 11 th birthday...

Lots of family and friends eager to help try it out...

Rain clouds that only threaten...

Picking wildflowers with best friends...

Throwing rocks in the pond...

Happiness!

And Now You are 3

How does a little boy spend his first day as a a three year old?

He cuts his own breakfast (while totally ignoring Mom's yelps to watch the fingers!)

He dodges kissing from the girls. Girls who think it's hilarious that he hates being kissed.

He gets totally stoked over Star Wars gifts

And then eats as many pieces of mocha cake as he likes ...

Because who could say no to that face.